I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
