Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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