so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
