genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
