Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
