I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
