Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
