My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
