I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
