the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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