Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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