Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize