Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
