he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
