I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
