8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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