ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
