Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
