Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
