he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
