did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
