I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
