If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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