Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
