well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
