the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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