So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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