Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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