sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
