don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
