I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
