His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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