She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
pray to the hookup gods
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
