I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Boobs are out for the taking
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
