this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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