dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
