"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
