Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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