Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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