Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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