Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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