So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
