I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
