Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
