he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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