Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
