One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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