This is not my ceiling
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
