Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
