Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
