i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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