fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
where are my eyebrows?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
